Sunday, 4 December 2011

Philosophy Of a Guilty Conscience.....part1

(This short story will surely explain the meaning of the name of my blog "Philosophy of a guilty conscience" the whole story was taking time so i am posting the part which is ready.)

Dec 1, 2017 It was her daughter’s 18th birthday and while slapping her daughter, the ”philosophies of her guilty conscience “ were at their brilliant display .Even after her daughter disappeared behind the curtains of the room, she was standing there silent in absence of any  thoughts , emotions or sensations, a numbness persisted in her mind and body, being a single mom must have made her this strong.
            With a numb thoughtless mind she made herself move to a secluded place, which she called her room. Where there was no one to judge her except she herself. Sitting by the side of the bed, she saw her dirty reflection on the mirror embedded on her dressing table . Even though her sagging skin and recently appered wrinkles maintained her in the present, the events of the day were dragging her forcefully to her haunted past. For almost last two decades she avoided engaging in those memories, then why now?, but like a pus filled blister has to burst someday exposing the dirt that was rotting in it for days, today she wasn’t able to control the bursting thoughts of hers exposing her ugly past, Earlier her conscious mind made decision for her but today it lie dormant .
             Multiple loud whispers were echoing from every corner of the room “Murderer, you killer, you slut”… ohhh she felt like, her ears were bleeding. She blocked her ears by pressing her fist against them, as hard as she could and  in a second, again the dominance of a deaf silence wrapped her existence.
             Her lump body fell on bed, like the life force has been sucked out of it. The blank eyes, while meditating on the centre of the rotating fan, projected the flashes of her past. The grand 18th birthday, the lights, the guest, the cold warm ambience. “No stop!!” , Her conscious mind resisted, but the part of her brain that posses the power of decision making, seems to be paralyzed.

              Dec 1, 1998, 10 pm to be exact she completed  18 years of her life in this world. Possibly the happiest person on earth, a single child of most loving parents, who cared for her like, she were a delicate china. Huge enormous wealth that her father had gathered over time, to let her enjoy every possible worldly pleasure. A boyfriend, that she was soon planning to get married and she felt that the day was most appropriate to make that announcement. Eagerly, waiting for him she was becoming a little bit impatient as he never showed up till now, as planned was 9pm.she felt exhausted after trying his non responsive mobile, thousands of times in last one hour.
              After hearing a screeching Sound of a car stopping in front of the villa, she ran to the terrace expecting ritesh and what she noticed was a news channel’s caravan. She looked as her father getting depressed while having a conversation with those coming out of the van and in matter of 4 to 5 minutes many of them were there. She saw her father panicking. On stairs, while running down to the gate she heard the sirens, “police but why”, she thought. Reaching the gate a crazy frenzy knocked her down. Flashes, literally thousands of them made her blind for a moment , the father pushed her behind himself , many policemen were man handling the reporters ………nikita where do you study? , were you there when…. ?, is it true that you are involved….. ?? She couldn’t make, any sense out of those questions, all she knew was that maybe it’s a dream, a bad dream.

             Police controlling the situation hastily took the family inside the house and then what she heard,  actually saw,  was something made her melt in her own shadow, her throat choked, she felt molten glass is being poured into her delicate ears, the air was absent from her breath,  , a watery layer developed on the surface of her eyes blurring her perfect vision, her feet trembled like weak bamboo and for once she thought maybe it’s better if she were just a body, a dead body……………………………….


  1. Woaaaaah. So so soooo gripping. very well written!!

  2. interestingly you paused at a moment when there is a strong urge to know what happens next....initially, it was like a hiccup...the puss statement didn't make me feel very comfortable, but gradually i grew to the story and the suspense....


    though, am allergic to fiction, but am adapting myself :D

  3. and now I want to know what happened asap :) :)

  4. Phew!!! my...that was something...Gosh! we have such awesome ppl on blogosphere penning down and weaving words into such great ART forms:)...kudos to u for having written this...
    So...a story comes up even as u wish to let us know why this title of ur blog?...hmm....U are one story teller Paras:)....

    Just one thing."she wasn’t able to control burst her thoughts exposing her ugly pas" ....I sense something lacking in this line...a punctuation or a word...dunno...but it's incomplete...just go back to this lil bit..that's all!

    Wishing u a Happy December:)

  5. How much of it is fiction? There are hints of reality here, no?
    I loved it, needless to say. Quite a prolific piece this is.
    and air was absent in her *breath - correct that!

  6. Whoa!!! okay that was something unexpected. And it surely does reflect something on the title too.

  7. Need to know what happened following your blog :)Liked the way the comments on your blog r showing as philosophies

  8. Got me hooked. Completely! Waiting for the next part! :)

  9. This is nice, I guess one comment is not enough to describe it. I can't wait, I mean its like that interesting episode we die to watch. :)

  10. @Twisha : thanks girl...

    @TheBluntBlogger : thanks for the comments....yes it was a conscious decision to stop at that point so that the further story doesn't lose its charm.

    @Purvi :definetly on 7 december.

    @Aakriti ; many many thx for appreciative comments....Errors corrected mam...thanks for bringing it to my notice.

    @Cяystal : its 40% fiction happent to someone i knew dearly in pune.

    @Beyond Horizon : thanks thanks thanks

    @Sweety : so sweet sweety...thankyu ji..i will try not to disappoint yoou.

    @♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ : will be out soon ...working on it with my software devlopment stuff.

    @Shreya : thx for the comments...i will try to be at your expectations .

  11. I loved the way you wrote. Really interesting way of narration. you got me glued . there something in your writing which is appealing to heart...Eager to know what happened next. you got me glued. following you..

  12. nice write up..
    blogs are interesting...I read couple of them... since morning..:)
    very expressive..

  13. i want to hear the whole story before any further comment.
    Oh and check my blog, i think i have a answer for you.

  14. "but like a pus filled blister has to burst someday exposing the dirt that was rotting in it for days,"

    Ughhh..Dint like this part :( Sorry
    But the story is soo gripping and ur narration is just perfect sire!!! Loved how you are taking this forward. I am now going to read the nxt part.